Friends!

Hi Everyone!

So I'm going through Wizard of Oz rehearsals and being a general busy body but I thought I would take some time to talk about a difficult topic for me.

For those who don't know me personally, I find it extremely hard to make and keep friends. With every one of my friends we have had at least one argument or falling out and each time it makes it harder for me to trust people and I feel like I have to be careful with what I say. I would say I am an ultimate diva, imagine Rachel Berry and Sharpay Evans' love child. I come across as loud and cocky but deep down, I am quite shy and I get nervous really easily. I feel like with some people I ALWAYS put my foot in it! Some people forgive me but others don't so easily.

I have quite a few special friends who have stuck by me even when I am moaning about the world! One of these friends is Maddy, she knows me exactly, even from my facial expression. We have had days where we moan about our crushes not liking us and binge watch The Inbetweeners or Gavin and Stacey, laugh non stop or fight and argue like it's World War III! Some of the stuff I have said is pretty bad but we are as bad as each other sometimes! I know I can be a cow but she always accepts my apology and I have never told her directly how much it means to me but I hope through this blog she will understand how much she actually means to me and how it really hurts me when we fall out!

Another is Brady, as she would say, she is a good'en! I am so excited to be joining Newcastle with her and these past two years we have gotten to know each other really well! We sometimes have the odd disagreement but is always forgiven and forgotten with some top quality banter! There have been lessons and lunchtimes where we have cried till we laughed! (with the help of another close friend Patrick!)

One of my friends who I am going to miss so much when we go to different colleges is Luke. He is actually hilarious, our free periods became banter sessions with non stop laughter! We are also very similar in many ways and our humour is something quite special! I know one day we will see each other again and we will only have to say one word and be in fits of laughter!

Now where do I start with Hannah? We are so alike we are like twins, except she has curly hair! I have known her for 4 years this August and it feels like I have known her forever! We can go months at a time without seeing each other and when we do meet up its like it was only a day since we last saw each other! We know each other so well that there are some things only we will get! Our humour is so alike. She always knows what to say to me and her advice has been a huge part of getting me through life. Doing shows together has to be a highlight of my life! I can tell the Wizard of Oz is going to be amazing with her! I know that we will be life long friends! And I know when we get to London and can't afford anything we will have cardboard boxes next to each other! You have no idea how excited I am to being joining the same course as her next year its going to be fantastic! I genuinely couldn't imagine my life without her!

Heres a picture of us and it is one of my favourites!

But on the other hand, its not just my fault that I can't make friends. A lot of people judge me before they really get to know me and assume I am a loud and nasty cow, which is partly true! A lot of people also think that they can laugh at me and talk about me behind my back because I rarely confront people I don't really know. It makes me so paranoid and makes me think I can't speak to anyone without some one commenting about it! I just wish people wouldn't judge me and would get to know the real me which 8/10 is quite funny and uplifting!

Anyway if any of you find it hard to make friends then I want you to know you aren't alone and that we should try our best to ignore the arses of life and try to find the people who make us laugh and who we care deeply about!

Charlotte x