Happiness

Hi Everyone!

This is what I'd like to call a spur of the moment blog post and something that wasn't planned but I felt the need to write! I know its quite hypocritical for a miserable bitch like me to be writing about happiness but even miserable bitches like me have happy/positive days and recently these happy days have become more frequent.

For the past 2 years I had been very unhappy, generally low and always had the negative thrown at me from others. Constantly being put down and having your patience tested can be very challenging on a person, especially when it was everyday. There were days were I wouldn't smile and have many depression sessions with my closest friends. In the past 2 years any amazing and positive experiences I had were very few and far between, I was either with a friend or on holiday and these were the moments that kept me going. I would try to grasp at these amazing moments but there were times when even the happiest days of my life couldn't make my day slightly better. There would be days where I would rant for England or cry until I gave myself a headache. I was also really stressed and this amounted to me being snappy with my closest friends which I feel very guilty about now because it obviously wasn't their fault and I should have taken it out on the people causing the stress and misery.  I also had a constant headache and sleep deprivation as my head wouldn't stop whirring from the days 'events' which made me even sadder because I was running on no energy and trying to not spontaneously combust with tiredness and a painful head. It didn't ever truly pick up and I was constantly counting down the days.

But those 2 years are over and now I can say that I am a completely different person. I have so much to look forward and have had some of the most memorable days recently. I have some amazing friends who I will always treasure that are either keeping me company day drinking in Spoons, giving me much needed advice or just general providing cuddles and side splitting hilarious days. Friends are so important to me and I count many of my friends to be like my family, a crazy, psychologically imbalanced, alcoholic, kind, caring, slightly gay and talented family. They know who they are and have always been there for me (love you guys)! Since starting my job at Diggerland I have made some extremely close friends who have shown me such kindness and the best of humanity. I don't think I've ever met a more accepting bunch of huns that provide excellent banter and accept my weirdness without any real judgement. These are the guys who watched me drink my weird alcoholic mix of vodka, cherry sourz, blue curaçao and a dash of diet coke out of a glass Pyrex Jug then kind of collapse as a blonde mess on the floor at a house party! (Sorry family if you're reading this!) 

But yes I needed to get that off my chest and sorry its been a while since blogging but hopefully once the Summer Season at work finishes I will have more time to blog.

Charlotte x